The day I dreaded all of my life  / Bennietta Cox (daughter)
October 20, 2007, I am so glad it came so late, it could have been later.  At least to see some of your great grandchildren from my kids.
Who knows, I may not live that long either??? 

I have only been in your house a couple of times since you died.  It kills me to go in there and not see you there and I must say the pain is no less today than it was a year ago.

I haven't been able to write about that day until now, so maybe I am making some progress, who knows.  Anyhow, here goes, I came over on Tuesday night October 17 and you were so depressed and it hurt so bad because you asked me what you had to live for and I couldn't give you any answer, that one still kills me.  Now as I sit here typing through all of these tears I think of all kinds of things I could say but it is too late.  I came home and didn't come to see you until Fred called Friday night.  He said something just wasn't right. 
I came into your room and you smiled and tried to talk but nothing would come out, I was devastated.  I knew at that moment that you had the ultimate stroke now, the one you feared the most, the loss of being able to talk.  I told Fred to call the ambulance, the one time you didn't argue and make me load you in the back of my van, haha.

I went home and changed clothes and sat in the driveway for what seemed like forever while the ambulance crew worked on you, then after about an hour and a half they finally took off.  They drove about 30 miles an hour the whole way to the hospital and finally we arrived there.  I watched them get you out of the ambulance.  You were being so still, I couldn't belive it and I knew it was the end.

Then they finally got you into the hospital and Fred and I had to sign the DNR form which killed me, how can you say that it is time for your mom to go, how can you say don't bring her back, that was the hardest thing I have ever done. 

I sat beside you and held your hand for a couple of hours and they finally came in and did some xrays.  They never told us the results and I never asked, I guess I knew the answer already anyhow.  Well then they moved you to a room and I asked if I should stay and the nurse told me you would be okay and I should go home and get some rest and come back in the morning so I did.  I can't believe I listened to those dumb Hilton Head Hospital nurses again, what a shame. 

The next day I brought all the kids in to see you and you couldn't talk, but you smiled and seemed to enjoy seeing them so much for the last time then I left and ran some errands and took the kids home. 

I got back to the hospital at about 1:00 and you had some foam coming out of your mouth and you were fast asleep.  I asked the nurse what it was and she said the doctor told her it was normal.
I thought what in the hell is normal about that, but now I know what they meant, it was normal for a dying person.

I kept wiping it off and wiping the tears from your eyes and put some chap stick on you for about 2 1/2 hours, then sang some song to you, told you it was time to go to heaven and took off your watch.  I was crying so hard I was almost howling, I am sure they heard me all over the hospital but no one came in.

Then I went out and told the nurse you had passed and what time and she said no, it was probably sleep apnea, so she sent me back in.  I sat there for about 15 more minutes and went out once again and told her you had passed and it had been 15 minutes and she told me to go back in so I did, I wanted to get the hell out of there but they made me sit there with you when you were dead for almost an hour, finally the doctor came in and told me I couldn't do a damn thing so I ran out of the hospital, down the stairs and out the door and went home and started your website and worked on it until midnight, it was the only way I survived.
Hilton Head Hospital - I HATE YOU with every beat of my heart.
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How I feel  / Bennietta Cox (daughter)
In tears I saw you sinking,
I watched you fade away.
You suffered much in silence,
you fought so hard to stay.
You faced your task with courage.
Your spirit did not bend,
and still you kept on fighting until the very end.
God saw you getting tired.
When a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you and whispered "come to me".
So when I saw you sleeping So peaceful, free from pain.
I could not wish you back to suffer that again Close

Sorry for your loss  / Lea Ann Palmer (Job's Daughter )

My deepest sympathies for your loss.  Haven't seen you all for quite some time, but I do remember your mom's smile.  I hope the thoughts and prayers of those who knew her are some comfort to you.  God Bless.

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Peace / Amanda Johnson (Bennietta's friend )
Bennietta, the cemetery is beautiful. Your Mom picked a lovely sanctuary. I'm glad the services went well. God Bless. Close

A Lovely Women.  / Joan. Taylor. (None.)
Hello To  Bennita.
You've made a Lovely website for Helen, i hope you will add more to this lovely website in time to come.
She is watching over you, and is waiting for the day when God call's your name and you will then join Helen in Heaven.
And there you will live for ever and ever Amen.
She was lovely on earth and she will be lovely has an Angel in God's Kingdom.
I loved your lovely photo's, of helen they was good.
Helen Good Night And God Bless You.
Love And Best Wishes To All Of Helen's Family.
Here is my webpage email if you wish to visit My Cat Tibby.
http://www.miscarriagesoflove.com/tibby.html
Thank You.
Love From Joan Taylor.
England. Close

Missing Mama Poem  / Bennietta Cox (kid)
Missing Mamma
by Corky Ferguson
The sun came up this morning;
It wasn't very bright.
My dark mood casts a shadow;
It's hard to see the light.

We all have just one mother
And, now that her life on earth is done,
The emptiness and loss I feel
Make it hard to see the sun.

Tomorrow is a brand new day;
May the pain and sadness lighten.
I will remember all her love,
And then the sky will brighten.

Gone is not forgotten;
Her love reminds behind;
She's traveled in a new direction -
Love knows no space or time.

I will always love her.
She will care for me from above.
She will send me starlight and rainbows
To remind me of her love. Close

Sorry for your loss  / Jill Bradshaw (Friend of Family )
Bennietta I am so saddened to hear of your loss. When I think of your mom all I can seem to hear is her laughter. Funny how things like that stick with you.  After all of these years of not seeing her I still can hear her laugh. I think of all those evenings with her and the other ladies doing ceramics. The talk and  laughter was the best part of it. Its a warm and comforting memory for me. I hope that you too can find comfort in remembering her laughter and love of life. (((Hugs)))--Jill Close

our angels  / Sherry Williams (friend of Benitta's )
I am so sorry, Benitta, and i know our angels are up there dancing up a storm, your mama, sister and my baby girl.

God Bless you and your family

Sherry Close

your mom  / Vickie Snyder (friend)
Sorry to hear about your loss my prayers are with you and your family. Close

how blessed you were to have a loving mom  / Patty Bluemel (friend of daughter bennetta )
hi bennetta:

suddenly you and i have two things in common; as you know my husband died 3 weeks ago.  our friendship began last spring when patty darcy died.

my mom has been deceased several years.  i loved her but she had many things going on when she was alive.  there were many negatives that interferred with her being a loving and supporting soul.

the way you have ministered to me, bennetta, i hope i can to you.  i, too, like elvis.  i know how close he was to his mother and i know you hand-picked his song for your mom's memorial.

my husband's memorial song should be "the greatest man i never knew" by reba.  somewhere down the line if you want to make one for him please let me know.  i would be happy to pay you for whatever it costs to get it going.

i have not had a moment yet to read all of this site but trust me, i will.  i am still going through tons of paperwork of my husband''s and it is mindboggling.  my husband, and i, of course, had no idea kurt was going to die so nothing was done correctly.

bennetta, now i can learn more about you; i know how hurt and sad you still are about your sister.  now your sister can smile with open arms and say to mom "welcome home".  i personally feel that if you believe in heaven then life is just a one night stand.  perhaps someday patty, your sister, kurt, you and i will all talk about this glorious way to let people vent their love for their LOVED ONES who have had to pass passed us for now.

i will be in touch very soon, i promise.

love, patty bluemel
widow, age 55
(307)787-7674
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So sorry for your loss  / Lori Peterson (friend of Ben's )
Ben, I was so sorry to hear about your Mother.  I know how much you loved her & how much you will miss her.  I never got the opportunity to know your mother, but she raised on heck of a kind and considerate daughter in you.  Though we have been seperated my miles, there's not a week that goes by that I don't think of you & your family.  Feel grateful that you had this time with her, alot of us don't get the opportunity you had.  May God bless you and your family.  I know I have been blessed just knowing her daughter. Love always, Lori Peterson-Kansas City, MO Close

Friend, neighbor, ceramics teacher, Job's Daughters, and sister.......  / Beverly Barron
    I am truly saddened today, we all lost a wonderful lady.  My memories of Helen are so varied, we laughed together. played together, worked together, we had some memorable times and some not so memorable times, but we always remained friends, her family is like my own, and mine was hers. My heart goes out to Bennietta, Fred, and her beloved Grandchildren. God Bless, and still sisters! Close

sorry for your loss  / GREGORY Breidenbach (friend of bennies )
Bennie,

very sorry for your loss. If your mother was like you, heaven now has another plus.

Love,

GReg Close

Thoughts and Prayers  / Karen Martell (friend of Bennietta )
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time Bennietta.  You were so close to your Mom and she will always have a very special place in your heart.  True moms like her never really leave completely.  Take comfort in knowing that she will continue to watch over all of you from heaven.  xxoo Close

So sorry for your loss  / Roni Heinze (friend of Bennie )

What a touching write-up and wonderful photos!  You are in my prayers during this sad time.  I know your mother is watching over you all.

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My deepest sympathy  / Rose DelGardo (bennie's friend )

Words cannot express the pain I feel in my heart for your bennie I am so sorry for the loss of your most precious mother. I see and found in you the wonderful qualities that shine thru you by the gift of life your mother has given to you. I am sure your mother loved you and your family dearly and has appreciated all you have done to keep her comfortable at this most difficult time.  god bless you and your family always. Close

I'll miss you Mom  / Jayna Barron-Walden (Friend of the family )

You were not only my neighbor but my Jobie Mom. You were there when I joined Jobs Daughters and were there when I became Honored Queen. I'll never understand how you put up with us! You never minded if I just came by to see you. You would stop what you are doing and talk! You were a rock that held us together when I was sad you were quick to give me a hug and that beautiful smile. I will miss you! 

God bless you and your family.

Jayna

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My deepest condolences  / Janet Novick (Friend of her daughter )
My sincerest Sympathy to my wonderful friend Bennie...What a beautiful tribute to your mom..My heart and prayers are with you!
All my love! Janet-NYC Close

Godspeed / Amanda Johnson
Bennietta, I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom. Take comfort in knowing she is at peace and free of pain. God Bless you and Stan and the kids. I will hold you in my heart. Close

Phenomenal Woman  / Ronquaise Wainwright (Friend of daughter )
I have never spoken to or seen Bennies Mother. I want you all to know that the family as well as family friends are in my prayers. She did a beautiful job with rasing Bennie to be a smart caring woman to whome I have alot of respect for.
God bless
Ronquaise



Phenomenal Woman


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

I promise you I belive she is in a better place. I chose this poem from Maya Angelou because. I feel that every one big or small  black or white. Should feel proud to say there mother was a Phenomenal Woman.

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